This past week my husband and I attended the Open Heavens Conference at Bethel Church in Redding. What a divine experience!
Each of us yearns for that special, unique touch. I want to be the one who is healed from my chronic pain, or whose fillings God replaces with gold. Or better yet, restore the missing and imperfect ones! I want to be the one on whom the gold cloud rests. But alas, that old spirit of rejection whispers, “He won’t choose you. Just wait – you’ll see. You aren’t special.” I recognize that nasty old spirit – it’s relentless.
So once again, I tried to quell my spirit when I wanted to ask God to touch me, to show me that I’m special, that He chooses me. During our first evening’s worship time, I felt excited inside. I wanted to ask Him to choose me, but I told myself, “He won’t do it for me.” I wanted to give Him an out, just in case He wasn’t going to choose me. Limiting God once again!
Then I heard His Spirit tell me to, “ASK. Don’t be afraid.” He told me to put a demand on His love. So I asked, and I waited, peacefully. Looking back, I don’t think it was the request itself that mattered. It was letting go and letting God out of the little box I keep trying to stuff Him into.
Every message of the conference seemed tailored to me, and it was pleasing to pray for the wonderful people around me. The last message was ending when the young man sitting next to me turned to me and asked if he could pray for me. He told me that Jesus gave him a single word for me – reassurance. WOW! If I could receive only one single word from the Lord, I could not have chosen a more perfect one.
The Lord has been encouraging me for months now, reminding me that He is my Everything. I’ve felt bad for continually needing Him to tell me He’s got my back. But He hasn’t grown tired of telling me He loves me and that He’s taking care of the chaos in my life.
That young man blessed me by his obedience; I hope my excitement and joy in hearing his prayer for me blessed him. Thank You, Jesus, for Your perfect word in Your perfect timing. And thank You for placing that radically obedient young man next to me. I enjoyed worshiping You with him and watching him grow more and more excited by Your Presence. Bless him, Lord. Let Him feel Your love pour over him like warm honey, warm and thick and sweet! Thank You, Jesus!