Tag Archives: God

The Golden Thread of Psalm 34:18 and the Promise of Restoration

17 Friday Jan 2025

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In 2010 I felt led to found a nonprofit ministry to serve those who had been hurt by their abortion experiences. It took quite awhile to choose a name. I wanted to use Scripture, but what verse? My anxiety increased as I pondered ideas, while fear and perfectionism reared their ugly heads. In the end I chose Psalm 34:18 Ministries.

Psalm 34:18 TPT “The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one.”

Psalm 34:18 NASB “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Fast forward to 2014. Broken parts in me questioned all sorts of things, one of which was the name I had chosen. It’s difficult to explain how anxiety can strip joy and hope from absolutely everything and cause one to question every decision. But God… I opened a desk drawer and came across a “dog tag” – an ID tag I had picked up before I had founded my nonprofit. On it was engraved Psalm 34:18. In that moment I felt God touching my heart and assuring me that we together had chosen that name. I felt His promise to heal and restore others through this ministry.

Isaiah 40:8 NLT “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.”

However, there were more layers to unravel.

Fast forward to 2019. My “happily ever after” was in shambles as my ex had chosen to pursue interests outside our marriage. He had forsaken me emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, and then he left me physically. I was devastated. Once again, I “found” this reminder of God’s steadfastness and unconditional love right when I needed it most. God reminded me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He reminded me that He would carry all my grief, sorrow, and desolation if I would give them to Him. Not only would God would bind up my broken heart, but also He would heal me – body, soul, and spirit.

That day and days following I chose to demolish the tombstones I had erected to memorialize my pain and loss. The more I chose God first, the more I saw that He has been covering me all along.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5 NIV ‘God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”‘

I pulled this entry from my 2020 journal. There was a post script… “As I closed this entry and moved to another task, I opened a book and on the page I found the verse Deuteronomy 31:8.

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Thank You, Lord, for the exclamation mark!”

Beauty for Ashes, a Tale of my Jackie Beads

22 Monday Oct 2012

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It has been three months since my loss of my beloved iguana, and it still saddens me to awaken to … no Jackie. But God comforts me in many different ways. I’d like to share a unique way God has used this loss to bless someone I may never meet here on earth.

My loss of Jackie put me in contact with Dolly, a woman in San Diego who uses her creativity and her skilled hands to create glass art. For me she created memorial glass beads and a sun catcher: my Jackie beads.

When I lost Jackie, I had her cremated. Creepy to some, but creepier still for me was the thought of her body being indiscriminately disposed of by strangers. Once I received her cremains, I sent a small amount to Dolly, who enveloped a tiny amount into glass beads.

When I received my Jackie beads, I was awestruck. It was not just the stunning visual beauty of the beads that moved me. When I held them, I felt Dolly’s love and gentleness that she poured into my Jackie beads.

I was so blessed that I immediately emailed this dear woman. I thanked her and shared how she had blessed me. I asked if I might pray a blessing over her; I blessed her and asked God to exponentially multiply her creativity and the work of her hands. I didn’t know how Dolly might respond to my email, but I felt my heart might burst if I did not respond to the love I felt.

My blessing was an affirmation for Dolly. She later told me that her talents are a Godly gift and that she prays for each family for whom she creates a memorial. God has affirmed that He is well pleased with her prayers and tender heart. He is pleased with the way she uses her gifts to honor and love on others. I’m thankful that God prompted me to thank her and bless her.

Thank you, Papa, for bringing love and joy into my loss.  Even though it still hurts, you have worked my loss into an opportunity to bless someone else, someone who quietly uses her godly gifts to bring beauty for ashes!

A Love Letter

21 Sunday Oct 2012

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Last Thursday during worship, I had the opportunity to write and share the impressions I felt from Papa God. I’ve decided to share my experience here. I haven’t decided whether to share everything, or just what I was able to share that evening (2-3 minutes goes very quickly!)… I’ve decided to share everything.

 

Come, Rest in My Presence.

Your praise brings tears to My eyes. Your love draws Me to you. I will not be deterred. You have sought Me, and you have found Me.
Rest in My Presence. Rejoice in My Presence. Be refreshed in Me.
I hear your praises and I rejoice. I hear your praises and I come.

You are the Shunammite woman. As I was passing by, you called Me in. You have refreshed Me. Now allow My Presence to refresh you.
You have made a room for Me in your heart. You have made a place for Me; your heart is now My dwelling place. I will come and dwell with you forever.

[Know My heart. Know your heart.
I have already healed all your hurts.
You are beautiful. You are exquisite.
I have made all provisions. I have set you free.
You are beautiful.] (I did not share this in class.)

Not only have you made a place for Me in your heart, but you have made a place for Me in this church and in your community. You have called Me here, and I shall not pass by. I will stop and I will stay. Forever, I will stay.

[Release any doubts you have – I see them even though you try to hide them.
DO NOT DOUBT. Do not grow weary. Do not be sad, for I AM speaking to you.
Rest in Me. Let Me pour My love and My joy in you, on you, through you.] (I did not share this in class.)

Because I dwell in you, you carry My Presence wherever you go. You cannot carry My Presence with you without making a difference. I release You to carry My love to others. So, carry My love, My grace, My mercy. Heal the sick. Drive out disease. Set the captives free. Blind eyes will see. Deaf ears will hear.

Rest in Me. Find peace and comfort in Me. Be refreshed in Me.
Draw close to Me.
Know My heart.
Know My love.
Know My love for you.
You are beautiful.
You are my favorite masterpiece, and I want to spend time with you.

 

Thank You, Papa, for Your heart. Thank You for sharing Your love for us. Thank You, Holy Spirit, for messing with me just a little, because in doing so You assured me all would be well – all would be fun, and it was! Thank You, Jesus, for Your peace. You reminded me that I can’t perform for You or earn more love, but together we could enjoy praise and worship, and and we could enjoy what I love to do. You’re so cool! Thank You, Lord, for Jewels, for her love and encouragement. This was fun!

Quiet Time With God

16 Sunday Sep 2012

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I entitled this post “Quiet Time,” but  it was anything but quiet.  Last Thursday evening I stood in the midst of about 80 friends; some of them I know and treasure, more of them I don’t yet know, but still treasure.  We were worshiping God in music and singing, when I found myself in my quiet place with Father God, Jesus, and Holy Spirit.  To my great delight we were joined by my dear sweet Jacqueline, my beloved iguana that passed away in July.

Jackie was basking on a rock, and oh! how her colors dazzled me.  She was quite a beauty while she was with me, but now, her beauty is indescribable.  Her greens were bold, bright, and iridescent.  I simply cannot put into words the depth and richness of her colors.  And Jackie’s eyes –  so beautiful.  Her brown eyes with rings of gold caught my breath.  My heart rejoiced to see her as she really is, with her true heavenly beauty not obscured by my human eyes.

Then Papa told me the most marvelous secret.  He revealed to me that He had created iguanas just for my pleasure!  He told me that He knew from the very beginning that I would love iguanas and I would fall in love with their complex colors, patterns, and textures.  What an incredible gift of His Creative Genius.  How great is My Father’s love for me!

Thank You, God, for loving me so much, for knowing me so intimately, and for delighting in giving me the delights of my heart.  The world is a more beautiful place because You created iguanas, and You created them to bring me joy! Thank You, Papa, I love you!

Healing Emotions

07 Monday May 2012

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I have just finished the book Healing for Damaged Emotions by David A. Seamands. This post is about this book, and I am sharing some of its ideas here. I give this author full credit. He wrote about anger, guilt, depression, inferiority, and perfectionism. I think most of us can relate to one or more of those topics! There is no judgment or condemnation in this book for the Christian (or nonChristian) who is experiencing any of these, or who is still in denial about experiencing any of these. I mention this because all too often we are told that if we “really were” Christians or if we “weren’t doing something wrong,” we would not be having these problems.

The truth is, we all have junk in our past that we have to deal with. The junk affects our life. We think we can shove it deep down inside and just ignore it. Sadly, the truth is that it affects our decisions and our actions. Dealing with our junk is not about blaming someone else; it is about accepting responsibility for how we respond to it.

Let us focus on depression and the steps the author recommends (pp127-129).

1. “Avoid being alone.” Do not isolate yourself. Choose to be with other people. Force yourself if necessary.

2. “Seek help from others.” A trustworthy friend can help you get a true perspective on that molehill you’ve distorted into a mountain. A true friend can also create joy.

3. “Sing – make music.” It may not be easy to start, but it will lift your spirit. In 1 Samuel 16:14-23, we read how only the beauty of David’s music could lift up King Saul.

4. “Praise and give thanks.” Praise God even when you don’t feel like it. Praise God even when you don’t feel His Presence. He IS with you, whether you feel His Presence or not. In 1 Thess 5:18 we read, “In everything give thanks.”

5. “Lean heavily on the power of God’s Word.” Scripture ministers to us. The Psalms in particular minister to us. David often began by freely sharing his frustrations and depressed feelings, and then transitioned to praising God.

On page 128, the author lists the following Psalms: 6, 13, 18, 23, 25, 27, 31, 32, 34, 37, 38, 39, 40, 42, 43, 46, 51, 55, 57, 62, 63, 69, 71, 73, 77, 84, 86, 90, 91, 94, 95, 103, 104, 107, 110, 116, 118, 121, 123, 124, 130, 138, 139, 141, 142, 143, 146, and 147.

6. “Rest confidently in the presence of God’s Spirit.” Seek His face – His Presence. Jesus promised us the Holy Spirit, Our Comforter (John 14:16.)

This may be a really big step for someone who sees God as an angry, demanding God. I guess that’s a great topic for another post. Until then, let us hold on to the truth found in one of the most well-recognized verses in the Bible. In John 3:16 we read, “For God so loved the world, that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish, but have eternal life.” Father God loves us so much that He allowed His Son Jesus to carry the weight of all our sins to the cross and die for us. God is Love.

I freely give the author full credit for this work. I have been greatly encouraged by it and would love others to be encouraged and helped by it. I highly recommend that you read this book. Most importantly, I wish to give the author honor for bringing this message in a way that is compassionate, sensitive, genuine, and non-confrontational. It is truth, given in love, with the sole intent of helping others.