In 2010 I felt led to found a nonprofit ministry to serve those who had been hurt by their abortion experiences. It took quite awhile to choose a name. I wanted to use Scripture, but what verse? My anxiety increased as I pondered ideas, while fear and perfectionism reared their ugly heads. In the end I chose Psalm 34:18 Ministries.

Psalm 34:18 TPT “The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one.”

Psalm 34:18 NASB “The LORD is near to the brokenhearted And saves those who are crushed in spirit.”

Fast forward to 2014. Broken parts in me questioned all sorts of things, one of which was the name I had chosen. It’s difficult to explain how anxiety can strip joy and hope from absolutely everything and cause one to question every decision. But God… I opened a desk drawer and came across a “dog tag” – an ID tag I had picked up before I had founded my nonprofit. On it was engraved Psalm 34:18. In that moment I felt God touching my heart and assuring me that we together had chosen that name. I felt His promise to heal and restore others through this ministry.

Isaiah 40:8 NLT “The grass withers and the flowers fade, but the word of our God stands forever.”

However, there were more layers to unravel.

Fast forward to 2019. My “happily ever after” was in shambles as my ex had chosen to pursue interests outside our marriage. He had forsaken me emotionally, spiritually, and relationally, and then he left me physically. I was devastated. Once again, I “found” this reminder of God’s steadfastness and unconditional love right when I needed it most. God reminded me that He would never leave me nor forsake me. He reminded me that He would carry all my grief, sorrow, and desolation if I would give them to Him. Not only would God would bind up my broken heart, but also He would heal me – body, soul, and spirit.

That day and days following I chose to demolish the tombstones I had erected to memorialize my pain and loss. The more I chose God first, the more I saw that He has been covering me all along.

Deuteronomy 31:6 “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you.”

Hebrews 13:5 NIV ‘God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”‘

I pulled this entry from my 2020 journal. There was a post script… “As I closed this entry and moved to another task, I opened a book and on the page I found the verse Deuteronomy 31:8.

Deuteronomy 31:8 NIV The Lord himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged.”

Thank You, Lord, for the exclamation mark!”